Prison Pete

Monday, November 01, 2004
  How has being in prison changed me?
Okay, it is 12:22 PM and I am ready to go back to my room now. But alas, they will not call a move until all have been served lunch and that will be in about another thirty minutes or so. So I shall blog on.

Many of the posts have asked about what parts of my life have "changed" due to my prison experience. I feel most of my discoveries have been the polishing and mining of my own inner resources. Hmm, should that be mining and polishing?

There is no specific program or class that has made me a new man, nor do I claim to be an entirely new person. But as the Tom Robbins quote says, I have gotten better at using my "hump" to help get me through life. Instead of feeling like the ugly duckling, well, I am more like the swan now. At least in my eyes anyhow!

Prison has certainly taught me to rely on myself. While I still crave other's approval and acceptance, I am more likely to move on sooner rather than later if my "gifts" and "talents" are not welcomed or accepted. In the past, I would feel it was my fault if someone did not think I was the best thing that came along since sliced bread.

Even though I have spent a lot of time and ink ranting about the staff here, there have been several staff people who have added to my "tool chest" of life skills. This has come about in both positive and negative ways.

Although the Supervisor of Rec has been the source of much of my ranting, I must admit that as far as dealing with a supervisor and trying to get my suggestions accepted (and yes, sometimes he did accept them) and still keep my job, it has certainly been good training for life.

To put this into real life application, what I think I would be better equipped for now in the real, free world is if I have a "difficult" boss to deal with, I now can pull back a little, deal with it enough not to lose the job, and actively devote my time to finding a new job.

In the past, my way to deal with the situation would have been to dig in and fight harder, making me (and probably my boss) more miserable, and not being able to see the possibility of an exit strategy and not being able to move on.

Yes, to some this may seem obvious, but for me, I think I was always one to stay and fight so to speak, and not have the insight or strength to be able to move on.
Hey Pete, can sense a tinge of sadness there. Keep your spirits up, ok. Btw, I have linked you to my blog, hope you dont mind.
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