Besides Mom and Dad, I write to one 99-year-old former church member from NY, one 60-ish single woman with four kids, twelve or so grandkids, and ten great-grandkids who is a "pen pal throw away" from another inmate, a Presbyterian minister from NC, and last but not least, but certainly the youngest, you.
It is up to me to keep the various relationships moving. One of the many issues I have looked at in my life is what a two way relationship is really about.
I feel very grateful and hopeful about how our communication has grown in substance. Yes, patience is something I have certainly been getting better at with each passing day.
Please realize that what I am writing would be a lot easier to say in person, since instant feedback would assist me in understanding what you are "hearing" and to note which points are clear and which are not.
This is NOT meant to be a cop-out, that if something I write pisses you off I can say, well, what I meant was, BUT it is true that when one talks about feelings and all that great MUSHY stuff which I have come to realize is the stuff money cannot help cover or strengthen, communication is, or can be, a very slippery slope.
First of all, let me say that I have things I am dealing with that you cannot possibly understand on the surface, but as our communication continues, will become clearer. It is not, I realize, as easy as saying that I would expect you to say, oh, I get it, just like it is hard for me truly understand your fear or whatever you want to label the general ill feeling you have had since September 11.
What I have learned is that it would be easy for me to say to you: hey, snap out of it, you have no problems like I got. But life is not like that. It is much harder, but more life affirming, to be able to not seek to solve a life problem by looking at it through tunnel vision.