Prison Pete

Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Even though we received over thirty new arrivals, and six of them came to this unit, I am still the proud owner of a single cell. It’s a real luxury to be sure.

I am going to try to write the 7,000 different things that are bouncing around in my head, and see if the night owl in me can get it all out.

The real outcome might be the sugar, caffeine, and, yes, I am smarter than average (three things all working to drive me to write you this letter).

Let us see, Thursday was store day. I got stuff loaded in the locker and am already down eight cans of Diet Coke out of the four six-packs I budgeted for the week. Thirty-six hours into 168 hours, eight cans out of twenty four, hmmm, not even the new math can pull this one out.

We fill out a list each week at the commissary and slide it through a slot in the window. An inmate who works in the commissary takes a shopping cart and goes up the one aisle and down the other, tossing the items we requested on the list, into the basket. The items are scanned by the officer, and slid out the chute for us to put into our laundry bags. That is right, no annoying question: "Paper or plastic?"

Just for fun, let us see what $52.08 brought me this week.

4 Six pack of Diet Coke @ $2.20 each $8.80
1 New Rubbermaid bowl $3.15
(I lost the top of my old one)
4 cans Starkist tuna in water 6 oz. @ $1.10 ea $4.40
Chunk Light - I think they call it light because while it is a 6 oz. can, it is certainly light on the tuna. You can get a can of the solid tuna for $2.20.
2 Jars of chili Sauce w/ garlic (8 oz.) $3.70
Nice hot sauce that adds zest to the rice and mackerel.
1 Garden mix hot pickles $1.85
Lots of cauliflower, some sliced carrots, a pearl onion or two or none, and maybe a strip of red pepper (16 fl. oz.)
1 8 oz. Jalapeno Wheels $1.65
1 15 oz. squeeze bottle Mayo $2.30
1 32 oz. Rainbow Sherbet $1.65
(I share it with another inmate because there is no place to save it.)
7 Keefee Microwave Popcorn bags $3.50
1 15 oz. Squeeze bottle of Salsa $1.60
1 Box of 40 Keefee teabags $1.65
Supposed to be Diet Coke replacement. No Way. I brew two tea bags in a 20 oz. hot cup and pour over ice filled 32 oz. sports bottle. No Sugar added.
1 Pint of Cheap Ice Milk $1.30
A favor for one of my co-workers
1 pack AA batteries $2.20
Payback for a 6-pack of soda that another inmate brought me on Monday. He works in UNICOR and gets to shop on Mondays.
1 pack AAA batteries $2.20
My radio uses this size. I always make sure I have several packs on hand.
1 5 oz. package of quarter size pepperoni $1.80
1 Kaiser Dill Whole Pickle in pouch $.60
10 Hershey’s w/ Almonds @.50 ea $5.00
Supposed to last seven days, but I think I have had five so far.
1 package of four wraps $.80

Damn, I just realized that I did not get my 8 oz. of cheese! As I write this, I realize that I have no cheese to make my weekly treat of four pepperoni wraps. We only get to shop once a week, and there are no 24-hour groceries that I can just run out to. Then again, given the fact that I am locked in my room for the next six hours, it does not matter about the 24-hour store.

(As luck would have it, there was fog Sunday morning and the doors did not even get unlocked till 11:00 AM)

See, I write you a letter, and I end up getting bummed out. Rats! Just kidding, I will keep writing. (And now, at 6:54 PM on Sunday, I will keep typing)

Damn, an empty coke can. I still have half a bottle of plain tea and will try to hold off on having another soda. That's a laugh! Back to the list.

1 1 lb. bag of vanilla wafers $1.75
Supposed to be a good "munchie" to last all week. Hmmm, let us see, half the bag is gone already (by Sunday evening, the bag is on its last leg.)
1 bag of pretzels $.99
A great low fat snack, until you dip them in the 8oz cheese, and all the health benefits go out the window. Also, one can only eat so many plain pretzels at a time. With cheese, it is a hopeless cause.
1 bag of Steak & Onion potato chips $.99
That bag did not even last 24 hours. Actually, it made it till Friday 6:00 PM, so that was actually 36 hours.

There you have it, $52.08
Hey there prison pete!

I find it that your blog is a departure from the ordinary! You don't find many blogs from inmates, if you are indeed a real inmate. Either way, your blog is entertaining. I can only hope you the best of luck in your future endevours... and stay out of prison! (When you get out of course)
I'm guessing the food must really suck where you are. Thank you for allowing your friend to post your letters in a blog as most of us never get the chance to take a glimpse into what life is like behind bars. I've been enjoying reading your blog because it isn't the usual mix of bored housewives, rebellious teens that cannot spell or angsty Gen-Xers that most blogs these days (I plead guilty to this too) are.
Hi prison pete. I really find it hard to believe that you are in jail and serving a sentence. But I have to give you credit for your entries, I find it all entertaining and I love the way you write.
Anyway, kudos to your friend for putting up all these entries for you.
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