I actually tried to call you back on Friday after our call on Thursday to really show and tell you how much our friendship has meant to me. As you know from all my writings, I can be pretty thick sometimes when it comes to keeping a relationship going. You are spending a ton of time working on the blog. Your trips to the bookstore are priceless. I do not want you to feel used in any way.
While this is not the only point of reason, one of the things about the lack of letters last year was probably related to the lack of a response from you. It is hard to explain, but one of the hardest times in prison can be mail call.
With 130 inmates in the unit, there is always mail call. Someone is always getting letters. There is usually a small core group of ten to twenty inmates who are guaranteed to get three or more letters a week. To write and then not get a response is harder than not writing at all.
For example, one of the inmates I talk to on occasion just removed all the photos from his bulletin board. I stopped by his room the other day and commented on the removal. He said he had to "kill" them all (NOT literally). He said he knows he is never getting out, knows he will never be with those people again, so he had to remove them. Understand?
The other thing is I am being more realistic. Like some of the comments on the blog, yes, prison has taught me to be more respectful of others. To understand that the importance I subscribe to something is not the same as what someone else does.
9:25 PM. Man, my hand is killing me. I know this is a mess, but I am so distracted and am not even sure if any of this makes sense. One way to find out is when I call you Tuesday or Wednesday. I do appreciate all your work on my behalf.