Dress Down Days. Union Fund Raising. A new idea. The official uniform for the correctional officers in Club Fed is grey pants and a white shirt. If you wear a long sleeve shirt, you are supposed to wear a tie. Wear a short sleeve shirt and you can forgo the tie. Medical staff, Education staff, Psychology staff, and a few other areas do not have a specific uniform, but are not supposed to wear jeans or T-shirts.

Well, at least twice a year, the union sponsors dress-down days. If you are not going to be facing the public, meaning working in visitation or manning (or perhaps woman-ing) the front lobby, you can wear jeans and a T-shirt, provided you buy a dress-down ticket for around $3.50.

So if dress down day comes around and you see a whole bunch of staff in jeans, T-shirts, and sneakers, the ones still dressed up are either cheapskates are or going to face the public. As long as you are inside the fence, well, then we can change the rules. The money is used to pay for the annual Christmas party.

One of the jobs that are available to any staff member is shaking down the inmates as they come out from the chow hall. You are only allowed to remove one piece of fruit from the chow hall, so anything else that is found on your person is confiscated, and could cause you to get sent to the SHU (Special Housing Unit).

What, you might ask, does one try to remove from the chow hall? Anything that is not nailed down. And even the nailed down stuff if they can get the nails loose. Think of a five-pound bag of chop meat or extra donuts from the morning meal. Like I said, everything and anything.

A lot of carryout is done to make up for lack of selection in the commissary. (I started typing this on Saturday. We had an early Recall that ended my work afternoon at 1:30 PM instead of 3:00 PM. Tonight we had a "disturbance" in one of the units just as the doors were being opened following the 4:00 PM count. It is 5:45 PM instead of 5:00 PM. Such is the luck of me trying to get a good, solid time block to type. As I mentioned previously, this is what is known as being BOPed.)

So the other possible fundraising idea is to allow the staff here to purchase a "day pass" to work the chow hall at Alderson. Yes, those of you who having been keeping track of the second most important federal inmate, Ms. Stewart, know that she is now residing at what the locals call Club Cupcake.

So for a price to be determined by the powers that be, whoever that may be, a Beckley Staff member would be sent to Alderson and get the chance to shake down Ms. Stewart as she leaves the chow hall, being sure she is not packing any ingredients to show her fellow inmates how to cater a party for twenty with only a microwave oven and 20 oz. Rubbermaid bowls.

Perhaps they could even have a bumper sticker and matching T-shirt, "I patted down Martha Stewart."

So there you have it, another way to raise the funds to help the staff here at Club Fed party on.

A happy staff is a good thing to have.
  ¶ 8:28 AM