Doing "This". As far as saying you can not picture doing "this" (i.e. the blog) for five more years, how do you think I feel? I put quotes around "this" because on the good side, "this" is not a solid single dimension thing.

This relationship can and has changed over time. Maybe it becomes something where I only write to you once a month and you only write back once a month. Maybe I will win my appeal and get released, and tell your wife do not worry, I will not try to come and live with you. Maybe I will die in next 12 months. Who knows what the future holds.

You do provide me with a whole bunch of hope. That is the most valuable thing. If I allow all the negative possibilities to take hold, well life would not be worth much to me at all.

So yes, only you can fit all the parts of your life together. I am looking forward to stepping forward in faith that maybe I can get some direct pen pals.

At the least I was thinking of having Mom open a post office box for me. Then people could send me blogs and books if they were so inclined. You would not have to print them and they, the bloggers, would know I get them too. I am constantly thinking of new things to help get some load off you.

I know you will always feel you do more for me than I think you do and for that I apologize. Or maybe I mean you think that I think that you think etc. I am indebted to you for all you have done. I do not mean to tread lightly with any of the time you have spent.

I guess what I would like to figure out, and even writing this I am not sure if there is an answer, to give you more of what you want and less useless drivel that clogs up your brain cells and sucks out some valuable time you could or should be doing something else.

I do not know if there is anyone else who understands your feelings about life like I do, but there are certainly some things that do work well between us and are worth (worthy?) of your time.  ¶ 4:21 PM