Prison Pete

Tuesday, April 26, 2005
  Romance Novels and Relationships.
I am reading the Nora Roberts hard cover you included in the last shipment. I am constantly reminding myself that an individual can not change another person.

The romance novels are full of great ways that males and females relate to each other. Included in the story are the thought processes that each character has before he or she acts. I know one can only go so far to please a partner, but as my current actions with Frank show, the way I am currently dealing with him is decreasing his control over my life here.

The other thing I am thinking is that when a female comes out with some really outlandish ideas, it is too easy to just shut out any discussion. One could take the issues as a signal of unhappiness and come up with some "new" ideas that might be considered revolutionary, but do not actually involve moving from your current residence. It is easier to just consider the request as outlandish and not as clues to maybe come up with something new in your relationship.

They are doing the begging and pleading thing this week on the classical station so I am listening to a commercial station that is very eclectic compared to most other stations. They just played "Silly Love Song", and right before that a Country song I have mentioned to you before: "Live Like You Were Dying".

I realize, at least with my relationship with Karen, my usual reaction to some of her "complaints" was to deny her feelings, diminish them or the worst, go off the deep end and start a big fight.

PATIENCE, which is the word I keep coming back to and the hardest thing to reconcile my feelings to. I am suggesting that when one is willing to not expect instant results, but keeps working to deal with the unhappiness of one's partner, amazing things can happen.

It is certainly much easier to simply try changing your partner. It does not work, but it is a great way to get stuck in a rut and at the same time absolve yourself of any responsibility for your partner's moods.

No, there is not a magic wand, spell, or pill that if you were to make one change overnight, you life would he great. That actually is the powerful reason to accept that little changes over time can drastically affect one's relationship.

Little steps and time also mean you can make mid-course corrections without going all the way back to square one.
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