Well it is Tuesday, so that means our row of bunks has Area Inspection.
Mr. King is one of the few officers that actually does the "inspecting." I have cleaned off my headboard, made sure my locker is locked and the bed is made. I have moved all my writing supplies to the table off to the side and am "hiding."
One of the other inmates decided to smart off to Mr. King and he is getting all hell now. I do not wish that on anybody and hope it does not get him (King) all fired up to go after the rest of the row.
I am down to twelve actual newspapers, but that does not count the stack of Week in Reviews and Sunday magazines I have stacked neatly on the top shelf of my locker. I think I am all right for now. I do not even want to walk over to the row.
Damn I must have placed your latest letter some place else, it is not in the portfolio that I keep all the correspondence in. I will need to go back to locker and find it. Be back, I hope.
"The stark life, the repetitive regime, the lack of human touch was beginning to lose its meaning for her.
That line is from "Changing Habits" by Debbie Macomber. It is the book I just finished. It is a novel, not non-fiction but is well researched.
This line is spoken by one of the three women that we follow from their teen years, entry into the world of being a nun, and their eventual departure and return to "civilian" life. Talk about cult. The old "habits" (both about the outfit, and the practices) were straight brainwashing.
Ironically the same day your letter came, I got a second letter from Debbie, my pen pal, and in the blogs she sent she was bitching about the lack of house and garden work she was getting from her husband. I was here stuck in the middle wishing I was being bitched at by a female that loved me.
It is all relative, and relatively I ain't got nobody.
What I have attempted to share with you in a number of ways is that relationship problems with the female spouse are really emotionally, intellectually, and psychologically based. But the word "based" here is referring to SEX. I am convinced that when it comes to sex, physical sensations are really not all that important until the other three bases are covered.
There was a pregnant former Playboy model on Howard Stern Monday. I have not as a rule listened to his show much but for some reason I turned it on yesterday. The model brought up two topics that I found of interest. One she was "molested" as a child, shown pornography as young as age eight and lost her virginity at age 13 to a family member or relative.
Howard says how weird is that etc. and she goes on to say she is okay with it now, having gone through family therapy and is on speaking terms with the abuser now. She goes on to say how she has had sex with other women including three-ways with a former boyfriend.
She says her current hubby and she talk often about this or that good looking woman, but that she will not do three-ways at this point as it did not promote a healthy relationship. Again it appears that it is how she has worked through things emotionally that guides her actions now.
I contrast that with someone's questions about would they be in trouble once I yet out? No, I am not a homicidal monster!
Sorry we were talking about your problems, not my life. Again and again, what I continue to realize, you need to really listen to what women are saying and then decode it to find the true meaning.
That is where I do think I have an advantage over you. The massive hours of one on one counseling with a female counselor and my reading of both fiction and non-fiction.
This is not an impossible task for you to accomplish, but I do think you have to really be willing to try a few different things and evaluate if the action you try has a positive, negative or null effect. You would not repeat the negative ones, the null ones you might recycle at a later point and the positive ones you build on.
I think I mentioned this before, but I believe it was Liz Smith, the gossip columnist that said she was molested at some point during her younger years and she "enjoyed" the attention. Now please realize I am certainly not advocating that behavior at all. It is wrong for all the legal and moral reasons, but the point is it is about how a woman wraps herself around past experience that counts.
I am not sure if this will make sense but let me give it a shot. The Jackie Collins book I just finished had the plot of a husband and wife, two kids having the great American life. The teenage daughter is in a life threatening auto accident; the wife tries to locate her husband who is supposed to be in Cleveland on business, but is still in San Francisco. They finally get hooked up on the phone, she at the hospital, him in Cleveland, but wait he manages to show up at the hospital one hour after the call.
It turns out he is having an affair with a younger chickee. For eight months. Amidst the daughter being in coma, she confronts hubby and the truth comes out. He does not know what to do, says she has to give him time. At one point they end up in bed, and he goes soft as soon as he inserts tab A in slot C. It is the first time that he has screwed wife with her knowing about other woman. He practically runs out of house over to girlfriend to be sure he can still get it hard.
The point, for us guys, a bad sexual experience only lasts until our next erection. For women, not so. Not only do you need to get a woman's mine going a good long while before you even try to start the physical attack, if there has been some "bad" experiences, recently or in the past, you need to be sure to overcome that brain wiring also.
My opinion is that it is not your job to get a confession out of her. No my premise is that you take her outward behavior and work with it.
The books are full of how barriers fall and all of a sudden dirty talk etc. is all good to get your partner hotter etc. No this is not always the case. Again in my opinion it can actually be a minefield. Even though some of her inhibitions might begin to fall during physical sex, she is still battling some sort of emotional memory that saying the wrong thing on your part could really blow things out.
That is why I have suggested you try to work with her barriers, to start anyhow, and not fight them.
I really think you should give my after sex bath setup some thought. You may need to modify it a bit or implement it in stages. For example you first might just work on the changing of the sheets, you can make a bed can you not? After that works, then maybe you would try the candle lit bath for her only.
Any initial changes should be designee mostly around you doing the changes, and not be specifically sexually related. Here is the cumulative point, maybe when you try the bath thing, you have a new bathrobe or whatever she normally wears to bed all wrapped up and sitting in the bathroom.
This is great. Think about what we guys would usually do. Stop off at Frederick's of Hollywood, buy one of those great skimpy things, toss it to the little woman and say here this is for you. Put it on and model it for me. Then you jump her bones. WRONG.
What you want to do is take her through the pleasure of the after sex experience, you want to be able to show her how special you feel after you do get some. It is not necessarily the fastest way to get laid; we are talking about putting something in the bank that will hopefully pay off with interest at some future point.
Yes the deposits will probably not always be the same amount, and not even the same currency. You can not buy her a new bathrobe after every time you get laid. Unless of course you decide to keep her home, barefoot and pregnant. I think it is a little late for that anyhow. Ha Ha.