Afraid of success?
My parents recently reminded me of one of the teachers during my private school years who felt that I was not afraid of failing, I was afraid of success.
I tend to agree with that now, in that when one has low self-esteem, you always see life as one long string of failures. Now I know better, but it is still too easy to slip into the old life patterns. I know that I am 'in for a bumpy ride' and I know to seek some support. That is all fine and dandy, if I had some resources to latch on to. As far as that goes, this location might just as well be the Gobi Desert with not an oasis in sight.
I do not know if I am able to express myself and have anyone believe I am not seeking a pity party.
Meanwhile I am sitting in a very dry and air conditioned building and have resources that thousands down among the hurricane ravaged states would consider living high on the hog.
In the past, my mantra would be 'It's not fair' usually said with a whole lot of whine in the line. I now know it is true: life is not fair and that is a good thing. I am very sorry for all those people struggling just to get some food and water to drink. If I was out in the free world, I would certainly be doing something to aid my fellow citizens, and know that when I do get out I will be working hard to help others.
I think it was a good thing for the president to get back to Washington two days early. I wonder about the use of the elder Bush and Clinton fund raising team as the first thing I would have wanted the president to work on.
It would be too much to expect, but how about airlifting all those National Guard Troops out of Iraq and letting them work here at home where they would not have to worry about someone trying to plant bombs to blow up their vehicles or having the right body armor to protect them from sniper fire.
Okay so this really has been not much of a personal letter so far. I am having lots of trouble saying focused.