<$BlogRSDURL$>
Prison Pete

Google
 
Thursday, October 13, 2005
  What the Funk?
Time for some brutal honesty. Time to ask the tough questions.

I do not know about you, but I am tired of hearing (or seeing) myself talk about being in a funk. The result of this funk is that I do not feel like writing. I have used this lame excuse both for explaining a delay in writing to my pen pals and also in getting posts for this blog done.

I have not sent out any typed pages to my editor this past week (Sunday - Thursday). Yes I did send two short handwritten notes. Both notes promised not only that I would send a typed copy of the notes, but would send pages of blog posts.

So here it is Saturday morning (12:45 AM) and now the next chance for anything to get in the good old snail mail will be Monday morning.

[That is not even an issue since it is now Monday afternoon and I am just typing out the handwritten draft. It could have already been in the mail had I typed at any point Saturday or Sunday.]

This means the soonest this will reach my editor is Wednesday evening.

[For now Thursday evening.]

You are now asking yourself so where is the tough question? Here it is. Am I really in a funk (and what is a funk anyhow?) or am I just being L-A-Z-Y ?

LAZY? I have challenged myself to prove that I am not wimping out, claiming 'funkdom' as a justifiable excuse to not set out the typewriter and expend the energy needed: physical, emotional and intellectual; to produce coherent, insightful or maybe funny commentary for the blog. The same holds true for letters that I need to write to the various individuals that are kind enough to write to me from time to time.

Bottom Line: I realize that an honest appraisal if my actions (on non-actions) shows that instead of doing the writing I was spending my time engrossed in fictional books and ignoring the world. It turned out as I thought about this, that while it was certainly easier to lay prone on my bunk and read, I was not being honest with myself.

There were no physical barriers to me typing. I have all the materials needed. I have enough good food to eat so I cannot claim protein deprivation. I have plenty of things to write about. I had a great visit with my Mom and Dad last weekend, I lost a filling in one of my bottom molars, and I have the plethora of articles clipped from the New York Times. That is just some of what needs to be dealt with.

Honestly I have to admit I am just being lazy. I do not deserve any pity or 'poor Pete' comments. No, I failed yet again to use the challenges before me to strengthen my character as opposed to lying down on the job and wallowing in a pool of self pity. It has pissed me off. I knew I was sliding backwards, taking the easy way out.

The penalty for my laziness is the risk of losing some of the regular readers of my blog. My pen pals will get tired of not getting letters back, and all of a sudden I will wake up and find myself "alone" and wonder what has happened.

Hopefully it is not too late. I will write out some drafts and then buckle down and get them typed. Even though I did not type this post on Sunday as planned, but I need to allow for some stumbling along the way. To allow the delay to throw off the task is yet another way I too easily accept defeat and give up.

I have been taking Friday off since no mail goes out till Sunday night/Monday morning. Then on Saturday I would resolve to get all the typing done on Sunday and by the time Sunday comes along and I am overwhelmed by the self-imposed amount of 'stuff' that needs to be typed.

The other behavior is to keep muddling along the way I have on Friday and Saturday. Along comes 11 PM Sunday evening and the lights go out and three days has gone by without anything being typed.

So let the writing begin.
 
Comments:
Pete.. You're depressed, not lazy! I suffer from depression, it runs in my family and it's no fun. I don't have the I'm going to kill myself sort, but the type that makes me feel useless and then feel guilty about it. You have one huge reason for being depressed and yet you don't allow it manipulate your existance. I admire you for that, for finding ways to keep yourself productive and expressing yourself creatively. If you have a few days of feeling funky, I think it's ok. Don't be so hard on yourself.
 
Post a Comment
DIARY OF A PRISONER

View my profile
Contact Prison Pete
Contact the Editor
Blogroll Me!

ARCHIVES
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010

December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009

December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008

December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007

December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006

December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005

December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004

PETE'S BLOGROLL


Powered by Blogger




PETE'S FAVORITES

Authors
Emily Dickinson
Janet Evanovich
Ian Fleming
Jonathan Franzen
Robert Fulghum
Sue Grafton
Tami Hoag
Jean Shepherd

Musicians
Johann Sebastian Bach
Beatles
Beethoven
Virgil Fox
Benny Goodman
Vladimir Horowitz
Itzhak Perlman
David Russell
Lonnie Smith

Radio and TV Shows
All Things Considered
Capitol Steps
Fawlty Towers
Fresh Air
The Infinite Mind
Jazz After Hours
Jeeves and Wooster
Pipe Dreams
symphonyspace.org

Media, Publishers, Networks
Amazon
Augsberg Fortress Press
Hamilton Bookseller
hamiltonbook.com
NY Daily News
NY Newsday
NY Times
NPR
PBS
PC Magazine
WNED Buffalo, NY

Helpful Organizations
Kauffman.org
WKKF.org

Government
Federal Bureau of Prisons
NY State Court of Appeals
NY State Department of Corrections

Other
Typing with a Dvorak keyboard
Fastback Book Binding System
Who links to me?