No hugs, no kisses, no touching. This letter is being typed live. No draft. I received your letter (11/14) yesterday. I also received a letter and blog post from Calulu.

I am certainly battling a bit of the blues. I now have to respond to both BobbieLou and Calulu. You are not nearly as emotionally heavy to write to, but I am not my usually upbeat self of late and am working on the cause, and then the solution to that problem.

Part of it is that I have not being feeling particularly intellectually engaged of late. I need to grab onto some project that will be self-lifting in terms of my sense of worth.

Let me get to your latest later.

Good thing neither of us are mad. Perhaps what would be more accurate would be to say I was angry, but that there was not any specific person that the anger was directed at. Some of the 'anger' is strictly related to the lack of options to communicate. I wonder if you are aware of how many of our thoughts seem to cross in the mail. I think that is the sign of a really deep and strong relationship.

Yes depending on the mail is a drag, but it has also added much to the relationship. I am sure that there are whole topics and feelings that we would not have ever shared if it were not for the restrictions that my current incarceration imposes. Hey we had over twenty years to turn a childhood friendship into a solid relationship and it never did quite catch on.

It is a healthy sign that we can occasional let our 'anger' show to each other. More times than not the feelings end up changing sooner than either of us can send a letter back.

While I certainly do not want to say any attention is good attention, an occasional venting of negative feelings is a good thing in my mind and as long as we are each patient enough to allow the other to explain our feelings further, I think we will always be the stronger for it.

I think one of the positives I bring to the relationship is the total desert I live in as respects any kind of emotional feeding.

They say how important a sense of touch can mean. Well I am sure you get plenty of handshakes, hugs, kisses etc.

I get absolutely NONE.

Not a little.

None.

The last time another person even touched me was when my parents came up to visit.

This is why I am always tossing out ideas to see if you can not make a dynamic change for the better in your relationship with your wife.  ¶ 8:52 AM