I just wanted to send a short note to you.
I received your latest letter yesterday along with a letter from one of my pen pals. Despite my specific instructions to the contrary, her letter included a nude photo. I never even saw it, just the note from the mail room to either let them destroy it or for me to send them a stamped envelope to send it back out. I told them to destroy it. That probably means it is now decorating some officer's locker.
I am having a great deal of difficulty dealing with all the various emotions that have been floating around, and need to buckle down and write out the various issues. I did realize the irony in my failure to give you the full story, for had you and I "met" on line, I would have freely told you the whole story. After all that is how I got caught.
Part of me certainly no longer takes any pleasure in discussing anything remotely connected to my actions of nine-plus years ago, and there is actually the possible legal issue of what I write could still come up in court is I ever am able to get any relief from the courts.
There is also the problem of being able to present the facts to you in such a way that I do not attempt to 'justify' my actions, yet it will be really hard to not mix my current 'outlook' as oppose to where my mind was at going back ten years ago.
I do not know if you understand, or put any weight in the fact that I have had close to six years of individual therapy from a psychologist! That is certainly not an insignificant event. If you combine that with the almost ten years of imprisonment, well I have certainly received plenty of 'treatment.'