It is now the Thursday before Father's Day, and I have still not completed the hand-crafted card for my dad. I did send him the following letter on Tuesday:
From: Creative Director, Custom Card Company
To: Father of Valued Customer
Re: Impending Arrival of Custom Crafted Father's Day Card
This is to confirm that an order has been received for a very special, unique, hand crafted Father's Day Card. This card is to include the fact that this is the fiftieth Father's Day you are celebrating. Having obtained such a momentous milestone, no ordinary card would be acceptable.
While we have prided ourselves in our consistent on-time delivery, recent economic realities have forced us to outsource some of our operations. At this very moment some previously impoverished person is hard at work completing this special order.
We hope you will understand this unavoidable delay and know we will expedite the shipping of your card as soon as it is complete. It should arrive at your home sometime in the not too distant future.
Let me personally add my own congratulations on your accomplishment.
Once more I do apologize for the delay and am personally keeping my eye on this very important order and will let no more time elapse than absolutely necessary.
I. M. Late, Creative Director
Excuse Number Two:
I have just been sitting around this wonderful paradise and have not been doing much productive work lately. I had better get my act together and do the things that need doing. I will send the card out in the next day or two but think that tonight, Tuesday, June 13, is the cutoff for sending out something that will arrive by Father's Day.
Dad, I love you. I am blessed to have you as my Dad and wish you many more years of being my DAD!!!!!
End of Letter
Honesty in blogging requires me to state that it is now Thursday evening, (the next day or two) and the card is still not in the mail.