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Prison Pete

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Sunday, July 30, 2006
  Why the Funk?
Before any one of you feels responsible for the funk I have been in causing the aforementioned paucity of writing, rest assured it is not due to any one event. No guilt feelings allowed out there in Freedom Land.

The interesting thing to me is that I have been forced to deal with a few disappointments and while they were certainly coming from a wide variety of events, the overriding dark cloud found me fighting the ongoing battle of "do I still have any worth as a human being?"

I read of others getting lesser sentences than I, and I have to continually remind myself that like life, the justice system is not fair, and for some people that is a good thing, and alas for others that is really a horrible thing.

I had made an appointment with the mental health department and did get to meet with a psychologist, but I am too well to be treated by him. Unless I am in need of some of the various pharmaceutical concoctions they dispense here on a daily basis the bottom line is there is no time to see someone like myself who may just need some talk therapy once in a while.

Instead of sending out a bunch of whinny letters and raising my expectations that someone would be able to come to my rescue, I simply muddled through knowing that at some point I would see the sunshine again. Okay maybe not so simply. It has taken a while to bring myself up out of the darkness and taking baby steps is never one of my strong suits.

I am certainly not saying I did it all by myself. I have been blesses with people that do care for me. Each week (or two) when I get the summary of the number of readers of my blog, it is just one of the many things that help me move forward. One foot in front of the other, even when it is not as fast (or should I say instantly) as I want.

Life is certainly an individual experience. Each of us faces a multitude of challenges that affect us as individuals differently. Even the same event may touch two people differently. There are also some events that even thought two people have vastly different lives, can bring both people down.

For example, both the Editor and I celebrated our fiftieth birthday, and both of us had some unmet expectations for the day.

Life is certainly what you make it, and while I do not like to admit it, you sometimes have to muddle through some rough spots to get back to the sunshine. Not everything can be fixed instantly.
 
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