We have a new Captain, one of two on the staff, and he seems intent on ratcheting up the tension here. Most weekends we get to stay up to 3:00 AM on Fridays and sleep undisturbed on Saturday morning. Not this Saturday.
As I headed down to the mess hall at 6:00 AM, six of the fourteen dorms had all their lights on. This means that the overnight officers went around to each of those dorms between 5:30 and 6:00 AM and personally made sure each and every inmate was up, dressed and their beds made.
The usual purpose of this early morning wake-up is a dirty dorm. There are never more than one or two dorms a weekend and many times none. This is just another one of those cycles that we prisoners must live by.
Many of the higher up officers prefer to deal with life here in the compound on an as needed basis. They do not go out of their way to find things to hold us inmates accountable for.
Then there are the ones like our new captain. They come into town guns blazing and seem to feel empowered by God to be sure each and every prisoner knows they are incarcerated.
I cannot begin to describe how physically exhausted I am. The ironic part is that while I have managed to impress several staff members with my designing skills and have accepted their praise with humility, I am not receiving any emotional lift. This appears to be a good thing on the one hand. That means that I am no longer seeking to define my emotional self by my practical skills as a programmer. Nor am I attempting to put too much weight in the value of this endeavor.
I have no doubt that my efforts in the maintenance department were more than adequate for normal expectations. The only reason I was fired is because the civilian, who is second in command, had an axe to grind with me. Life is like that. I know that. I am a little miffed that none of the inmates still over there have said anything to me about missing me or wishing I would come back. But that is also part of life in prison. As long as it is not your misery, anyone else's misery is great to watch and feed off of from the sidelines.
This letter is still not what I would have hoped but hey it is only a few days that I have had this new office set up, and I will only improve. It is somewhat scary for me to be able to sit down on touch type. To think of all the hours I wasted hunt and pecking my program code in.
Damn, the officer just came in and told me to wrap it up - gotta go.